Who Brings Bad Times?

"When my heart is overwhelmed, take me to the rock that is higher than I"  
Psalm 62

I checked out the meaning of the word ‘overwhelm’. I wanted to know what the sentence was really saying. The word means to overpower, to bury beneath a mass of something such as floodwaters or an avalanche, to load or heap with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything.

It seemed to describe me; I was overwhelmed with pain. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I cried out to God one day. I threw a fist at him and said, “I’m too young to be in this situation, don’t leave me alone like this!” Almost immediately, I felt someone sit beside me on the bed I was lying on, in my room. I actually saw a small place in the mattress sink a little bit, only that there was no one actually sitting, at least no one I could see. Then I heard a whisper, the person was stroking my hair as these words were coming at me “Don’t worry, its going to be alright. Don’t worry, I am with you in this, and it will soon be over.”

I discovered later that I was battling with depression. Sometimes the causes are unknown, but for me I knew what led to it – the bulk of it was the unwillingness to let go. I had unpleasant experiences in my young life, and I was unwilling to forgive anyone, including God (I felt God had offended me too!).

God dealt with me later in life about unpleasant emotional events. He said to me one day, “The human soul was not created to carry pain or any negative emotion for that matter. It was created as a guide and a source of inspiration and direction. Whatever anyone does to you, you must deal with it and let it go.”

I realized that what happened to me then was a denouement, a climax of several events, including some that weren’t significant, but they were all still stuck in my memory. When it was over, I realized that the devil, who caused every of those events, decided to use it to torture me. And God wasn't watching me go through pain without doing anything about it; instead, He was holding me together, waiting for me to surrender all to Him.

Are you battling with pain, anger or bitterness? Or are you disillusioned with no one to trust. Hand over the feelings to God and watch Him take you to a place of love and liberty that you've never been . Don't let the devil win, you are a victor and not the victim he wants you to believe. Rise Today!

When I Almost Lost It

When we experience pain or hurt, our initial reaction is usually to try to find a way to get it out of our minds. We don’t want to remember it, so we try to numb the unpleasant feeling. I once read about a drunk who was asked why he is always drunk. He replied that it’s because he wants to forget his troubles. I thought that was rather foolish, as the troubles are still there when the effect of the alcohol has worn out. 

I have found out that the humane way out of trouble is to run from it. Unfortunately, the problem is still there after whatever we do.  I woke up one morning to realize that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be in life. I had done everything right or at least done most things right (as much as I could) but it seems there wasn’t much good in doing the right things.

I was born into a Christian family; both my parents were ministers so I grew up being the good girl in the neighborhood. No alcohol (even when I had several opportunities to drink it,) no having relationships that would compromise my values . I even cut off from my friends who had abortions – I remembered my father’s words, “Evil communication corrupts good manners.” I faced my studies, and only I got involved in extra-curricular activities that could help me intellectually.

All of a sudden, things began to fall apart. It was like everything I touched immediately turned to dust.  It seemed like I was failing at everything. Here was I, the same intelligent young girl whose test scripts were often photocopied by departmental colleagues to study for exams, now couldn’t even think straight.

I was angry at everyone, I was angry with God. I was gradually being buried with disappointments the same way an avalanche would bury a human being along its path. The more I thought about the various fiascos that led to my let-downs, the more I sunk into a deep and dark hollow, going for days without saying more than "hello" to anyone. I can remember an elderly man looking at me and saying “Iyinoluwa, you are confused. I seriously think so!”

I was felt really down and sad. Folks around me kept asking, “What’s wrong?” “You seem disoriented and disorganized, are you fine?” I gave the reply we always have handy “I’m fine.” Deep inside, I knew I wasn’t fine at all. I knew if I continued like that, I would not only become disillusioned about life, I probably would loose my mind. I was wondering what to do when someone shared this scripture with me: “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)

(To be continued in the next post)