This is the first thing you should know, you shouldn’t allow people to determine the way you feel about yourself. Absolutely no! Your friends may be riding the best cars or having vacations on the moon but you don’t know what they are going through when no one is there. You don’t know if their husbands are cheating on them (with their knowledge!), you don’t know if they’ve had to see psychologist or you don’t know if they have to take medications everyday to keep sane. All you see is what they have that you don’t have, and it will keep eating you up until you decide to accept who you are and where you are today. That’s the only way you can determine a better tomorrow.
You also have to prioritise, that is decide what truly matters in life. What are the things that really matter to you? What do you really want from your life? Have you spoken with a trusted counsellor, pastor or a (wise) older person about it? Set your own goals, (not based on our society’s image of success – let it be what you really want) and do some soul-searching. You might find out that the reason you don’t have what they seem to have (like a good marriage) may be because you are looking in the wrong places or you don’t love yourself enough to believe you can attract the suitable kind of man. As for a job, what kind of job do you want? Define it. And believe me; you can get job satisfaction with good pay. You might also need to talk to someone who has advanced in that career and you’ll find out that it’s easier than you think to get a better job.
As for your friends, it might be better for you to use your discretion on how often and how closely you relate. If they are such good friends they should be thinking of how you can get better, and not flashing their stuff in your face. Right now you need to believe in yourself, what you have to offer a man and what you have to offer the whole world at large. Bad feelings won’t do you any good, they will only make things worse. If you want to get better, start thinking about how you can move forward. Hang around people who won’t put you down. Nobody will strive to make you happy – it’s something you have to do one your own.
I also agree with the person that said you need to let God help you. He knows much more than you do in this matter and HE is willing to let you in on it.
Kind regards,
Iyinoluwa Balogun
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